


Hold On

by youngandbitchy



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet Ending, Depression, Dialogue Heavy, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Suicide Attempt, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Triggers, Wade Wilson is a Good Bro, cursing, recurrent brief depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 09:23:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16910301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngandbitchy/pseuds/youngandbitchy
Summary: You attempted to commit suicide.(Do not read if triggered by suicide or depression. There's a slightly grafic scene of Tony finding the reader, so please, if any of the tags triggers you, DO NOT READ THIS STORY).





	Hold On

Tony didn’t imagine a scenario where he would use the flip phone Steve gave him. Even if the Earth was being attacked by gods or titans, he wasn’t sure if he’d make the call.

But then one moment you were laughing your ass off with Rhodey, and the next you were being rushed to the hospital for a stomach lavage.

“Steve… it’s (Y/N). She… she’s at the hospital, I…” Tony was running his fingers through his hair in desperation. “You need to get your ass here, I… I don’t know what to do…”

Tony was crying. Furiously. The Avengers weren’t sure if they’d ever seen him like that, or if he’d ever be the same after this. Pepper and Happy were with him as the rest of the team arrived.

Tony felt his life was getting out of his hands, because how are you supposed to feel when your daughter is at the OR after a suicide attempt?

“Why… Why would she do this? I'm…” Tony asked, sitting in a chair, his hands on his face.

“We’ll ask her soon. She just… has to get out of there,” Pepper answered, holding onto hope.

Finding you… that image would stay burned in his memory forever. Finding you with foam in your mouth, a bottle of the pills he used for his anxiety empty on the floor.

“No, no…” He immediately knew what you’d tried to do. After all, he’d considered doing so as well. “C’mon, baby girl. Come on! (Y/N)! FRIDAY, GET HELP!”

Soon enough Happy was there and rushed you to the hospital, not caring about red lights or trucks on the other side of the road.

You still had a pulse.

“Who did you call?” Happy asked, keeping it together for his friend.

“Rhodey, Steve… I trust he’ll tell the others.”

“And the spider boy? Have you called him?”

Peter. God, how would he tell him? You guys were best friends, and he was pretty sure the kid had a crush on you. And Wade… he didn’t like him. He never had. But you were best friends. He had to call him too.

“Can you pick up the boy? I'll… I’ll call Wade, tell him… tell him (Y/N)…”

“I can do that,” Pepper offered herself.

Tony nodded to his friends and thanked the Lord for them. He wouldn’t have been able to do shit on his own. He could barely form a sentence.

“Tony!” Rhodey showed up in the hallway, walking as fast as he could with his legs in the pants designed by Tony. “What happened?”

Tony had gotten up to get a hug from him. “She… she took a bunch of pills, I…” and he bursted into tears again.

Rhodey was keeping himself strong for Tony despite his broken heart. You were his niece. He’d sometimes have ice cream waiting for you after school and help Tony get perspective when he got mad at you.

“Did you call Cap?” He asked Tony.

“Yeah, I… I left him a message.”

Pepper was talking on the phone to Wade as Happy drove as fast as he could to Queens.

“Wade? It’s Pepper Potts, the CEO of Stark Industries.”

“Oh, right! The hot kick-ass redhead. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“It’s (Y/N).”

“I thought you were Pepper.”

“No, yeah, I am… (Y/N)’s at the hospital.”

Wade arrived first than Peter. He was wearing the Deadpool suit. He saw Pepper, Rhodey and Tony in the waiting room. Tony was talking on the phone, crying angrily.

“Where is she? What happened? Tell me who did it because I’m ready to cut some heads—”

“Wade, she… she did this to herself,” Pepper stated in a soft voice.

Wade’s voice came out shaky. “What?”

“Yeah, she… Tony found her. She swallowed a bunch of pills, we… the doctors are taking care of her.”

And Pepper swore she’d never heard someone curse so much in an entire minute. That’s how Wade coped sometimes, so she let it be as she kept her tears to herself.

Peter appeared in the waiting room with Aunt May following behind. Peter was crying and May had a worried look on her face.

“What happened?” Peter asked. By now, Tony had stopped talking on the phone and Wade was punching the snack machine to get his Snickers. Tony got up immediately. “What happened to her?! Where is she?!”

“She’s… she…” Tony began.

“She’s getting her stomach washed, Peter,” Pepper spoke for her friend.

“But why… why would she do this? It makes no sense! This makes no sense! We need answers! Where… who do I have to talk to? What—”

Tony hugged him to cool him off and took refuge in his mentor’s arms, crying his heart out. The scene made May burst to tears and Wade left the Snicker bar on the machine, not caring anymore.

“Where are the others? Where…” Peter began.

“I called Steve. He’s on his way with the others. Rhodey went to take care of it.”

“Mr. Stark, why… why…?”

“I don’t know, kid. I… I really have no idea. Jesus, this is my fault…”

“Tony…” Pepper said.

“No, Pep. It’s true! How couldn’t I notice? My own daughter who lives under my own roof and who I talk to every fucking day. How didn’t I see the signs?”

“Well, if we’re talking about attention…” Wade spoke. “I guess you’re not the only one to blame.”

“No one is to blame!” Pepper exclaimed. “She… She’s the most happy kid I know. We can’t blame ourselves for not noticing.” Pepper’s phone rang. “It’s Clint.” She answered the call. “Hey, Clint…”

So there they were. Tony fiddling with the buttons of his shirt, Peter shaking his legs up and down, May with her head back against the wall, Happy with his hands intertwined and Pepper with her hand on Wade’s shoulder to keep him calm.

“Stark?” A doctor approached them and everyone got up.

“How is she?”

“She’s stable.” Tony breathed relief. “Her liver is pretty beat at the moment but we should be able to keep it going with medication again. She has a tube down her throat that we’ll keep until she wakes up, in case of any traces left,” the doctor explained. “She’ll be on suicide watch for the next three days—”

“Suicide watch?” Peter asked, his voice cracking.

“It’s the law, kid,” the doctor answered. “When she wakes up, we’ll do a psychological evaluation and MRIs, to make sure everything’s okay. You’ll be able to see her afterwards.”

“And where is she now?”

“She’s in the Pediatric floor. I’ll take you and you can wait outside her room.”

When Tony saw you, it was like all his most terrible nightmares had come true. You looked so… lifeless. Your hair was down, you had bags under your eyes, and that tube down your throat made Tony start crying again.

Wade was so… puzzled. He didn’t know how or why or when or where. He felt like he didn’t know you. He’d never seen this side of you. Yeah, he’d seen you sad. Your parents had split and half your family were runaways, but you endured.

And Peter… Peter was destroyed. The most important person in his life aside from May was lying on a hospital bed with a tube down her throat because she attempted suicide. The girl he loved had tried to kill herself. How would he come back from that? How would you?

Tony checked his phone. “They’re here,” he announced. “Rhodey is bringing them now.”

“How long till she wakes up?” May asked the doctor.

“It depends. The anesthesia should stop having an effect on her in half an hour, so she could be awake by then, but it’s up to her.”

When Tony saw Steve’s shape in the corridor, he knew he was sharing his pain. Rhodey had caught him up in the car. His face was a red tone and tears were brimming from his eyes. Sam and Natasha followed.

“Where is she?” Is the first thing he asked and then he turned to the window in your room. He stopped breathing. “I need to see her.”

“Nope. Not yet, Cap,” Tony put his hands on his chest.

“Tony, she’s my daughter, I ne—”

“The doctor said we need to wait.”

And you woke up. They didn’t notice until you began choking on the tube. The doctor and two nurses rushed into the room, one of them closing the door behind.

The family looked through the glass. Natasha covered her mouth with her hand, Sam with an arm around her and his chin on top of her head. Peter was being hugged by May. Wade had taken off his mask, feeling like he couldn’t breathe anymore.

“Hello, Ms. Stark,” the doctor said to you. You were drinking water to drown out the soreness in your throat. “It will hurt for a few hours.”

“What…?” You barely could speak. Fucking tube.

And you saw your parents together. You saw Sam and Natasha who you’d missed with your entire being. Wade had taken off his mask which was fucking odd because he didn’t like people seeing his face and Peter, May and Pepper had red faces.

Happy and Rhodey were hugging, the latter shedding a few tears of relief.

“You took a handful of pills, miss,” the doctor explained. He’d taken a seat next to you, speaking softly and with your medical history on hand.

He walked you through what happened and you’d begin to sob, hard, remembering with his words. The pills, the dizziness, the slow heart rate, the numbness.

“I’m… You need to let them through. I… They need to know, I…”

“We need to do an ev—”

“Are you seeing the look on their faces?!” You exclaimed. “They’re fucking destroyed. I need to explain them. I need…”

The doctor sighed. “I’ll bring your parents.“

You nodded and the doctor got up to open the door, letting your parents in.

Steve hugged you first. “Pops, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you, I missed you, I…” You couldn’t stop crying.

Neither could he. “I love you. I love you,” Steve murmured as he kissed your head and hugged you tight but not enough to hurt you.

Tony stood on a side. “Dad…”

“You scared the shit out of me, (Y/N). Seriously, what…?”

“Tony…” Steve spoke.

“What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t,” you replied. “Of course I wasn’t. You think that, in my right mind, I would do this? Of course not!”

Tony took a breath. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

You hugged your fathers for a while, reassuring them you would never do anything like that ever again because you on your own didn’t know why you had. Yes, you’d felt loneliness and heartbreak and ache, but had it been that bad that you tried to kill yourself? It was hard to picture, and yet you’d done it.

You had your psychiatric evaluation and MRIs before seeing the others, and as your doctors came up with a diagnosis, you were in your room filled with people.

“Wade, you took off the mask,” you said with a smile.

“Not under the circumstances I thought it would happen in.”

“Let me guess: chimichangas, you wearing heels and Uptown Funk in the background.”

“No… Sexual Healing in the background.”

You laughed to the joke. Wade was like a cooler, crazier, big brother. He looked out for you, showed you movies you shouldn’t watch but thoroughly enjoyed and told you the truth when your outfit was unflattering.

Natasha and Pepper were sitting on the bed with you, one on each side of your legs. Steve and Tony were on chairs, each one next to you. Sam stood next to Steve and Rhodey and Happy next to Tony.

“I’m sure I can make room for two more,” you said, patting the space in front of you. Wade plumped on the bed, his hands intertwined behind his neck. “Pete?”

Peter wasn’t so eager. He’d been horribly quiet, silent tears falling from his eyes every once in a while. He hadn’t said a word to you since he entered.

“I'm… I’m sorry, (Y/N). I… I need some air. Excuse me, guys.”

And he walked out the door. “I’m gonna go… check on him,” May said and followed him.

You sighed. “Fucking shit,” you mumbled.

“Whoa, whoa, miss,” Steve said.

“Isn’t it, though? Of course he’s mad at me. Fuck this shit.”

“Okay, if I hear the words  **fuck**  and  **shit**  come out of your mouth in a same sentence again there’ll be no pizza tonight,” Tony stated.

“He’s just… overwhelmed, (Y/N). That’s all,” Natasha said.

“Yeah, he just needs a moment.”

But you couldn’t help feeling awful.

“Yeah,” you shook your head. “That’s probably it.” You cleared your throat. “How’s uncle Bucky, Pops?”

You heard stories about Wakanda, about how their tech could clown Tony’s and soon your family jumped into their old bickering dynamic.

You got a diagnosis while Peter was out, and when he returned the doctor was talking to Steve and Tony outside. You were playing with Wade’s ear and he bit you in a moment, you laughing. Pepper and Natasha were catching up.

Peter opened the door, drawing the attention of everyone. It was silent for a moment. “Guys, could you give us a moment?” You requested. “I’d like to talk to Peter alone. And that includes you, handsome,” you told Wade.

He grunted. “Fiiiiiine. Ugh.”

Pepper and Natasha dragged him out of the room and Sam closed the door behind everyone. You patted a side of the bed and Peter sat.

“Hey,” you said.

“Hey,” he replied.

“You told Ned and MJ?”

“You wanted me to?”

“No, I… I should be the one to tell them.”

Peter nodded. “Okay.”

You sighed. “It’s called Recurrent Brief Depression.” Peter looked at you. “It comes in monthly episodes. Apparently they’re severe and… suicidal thoughts are normal during those days.”

Peter nodded, taking in the information. “And you didn’t know?”

You shook your head. “No idea,” you replied. He was silent. “Peter, I’m so sorry. I… I wasn’t thinking. I… You know me, you know I wouldn't…”

“But you did,” he cut you off. “You did and you’re here now.”

“It wasn’t particularly under my control, Peter.”

“I know that now, I just… I can't…” He took a deep breath. “I can’t imagine a life without you, (Y/N). When Happy told me… I felt like… I can’t even…”

“I’m sorry, Peter.” You took his hand. “I am.”

Peter’s breath became heavier and, when he looked into your eyes, he put a hand on your neck and kissed you. Shocked at first, your eyes widened in surprise, but then you kissed him back.

“What the fuck?” Sam asked and all eyes turned to the room.

“Oh my God…” May mumbled, a smile slowly making its way to her face.

Steve frowned. “Who is that boy?” He asked.

“The best friend who’s in love with her,” Tony answered. “I’m just glad it’s not this one.” He pointed at Wade.

“Hey! I would be an amazing boyfriend for (Y/N)! I’d feed her chimichangas everyday!”

“That’s not healthy,” Rhodey replied.

When the kiss ended, Peter was crying again. “Stop. Stop crying,” you requested, your eyes watering as well.

“You stop crying,” he said and you both laughed at the same time. “So what’s next?”

“Well, I guess medication, therapy… I don’t know, a diet change? I’m not aware of the details,” you explained. “I just… have to be ready for the next episode and make sure nothing like this ever happens again. I’m not a fan of causing people emotional distress.”

Peter nodded. “I hear ya.” Peter timidly grabbed your hand. “We’ll be ready.” And a smile crept into his face when you intertwined your fingers with his.

“You sure you want this mess as a girlfriend?”

“I’ve been dealing with you for years.” You chuckled to his response.

You didn’t tell him it would be different in that moment. You didn’t tell him things would change; not only between you two, but in your family, and in your life. 

So you waited. After all, you had all the time in the world. 

* * *

##  **Five days later**

You were holding your dad’s hand as you left your hospital room, highing fives with nurses that had taken care of you and discussing your treatment with your doctor.

Outside, Steve was waiting for you with your bag. You hugged him, letting him lift you off of your feet.

“When are you leaving? I know you can’t stay in the country,” you said, disappointment in your voice.

“I can manage to stay two more days, if your dad will let me stay in the tower.”

“I can’t really let my daughter’s father who’s a Most Wanted stay in a hotel, can I?”

“Thanks, Tony.”

You smiled. “Okay, handsome men, I have an idea; I don’t have to go to school till Monday, so… dinner tonight? I’ll invite Peter, Ned, MJ and then I’ll take Wade the leftovers. He’s not very fond of taking his mask off, so…”

“You think I’m gonna let you go see that guy, just like that?” Tony asked.

“Who said anything about me going to see him?”

Steve chuckled and Tony looked at him. “She’s your daughter too, you know. Some discipline is very welcome.”

You held both of their hands, going to the exit of the hospital. “He doesn’t seem so bad.”

“Oh, wait till you hear the stories,” Tony said. “This one time…”


End file.
